I get bored during services
every jew ever (via jewfessions)
I took prayer pretty seriously back in the day, but if you don’t ever get bored I just won’t believe you - or you’re way too easily amused.
More stupid shit from Gutman Locks.
by Reb Gutman Locks
The conversation went something like this:
Abe: Why did Hashem create the Universe?
Gutman: He had a problem. Hashem is extremely loving, but before the creation, He did not have anyone to love, so He had to create us to have someone to love.
Except that god has no emotions nor needs, since those are the result of mortal nature. (Allegedly, of course, bc no one actually knows jack shit about a being that doesn’t exist.) But please, go on…
Abe: Okay, that’s fine for Him, but what about us when we are miserable?
Gutman: If you are miserable, you are going to have to come back to this world again and again, until you figure out that Hashem has placed us (you and me) in the Garden of Eden so we can have a good time.
This sounds so fucking twisted. It’s kinda like, “I’m gonna keep hurting you till you recognize it’s out of love and that you should like it.”
"Thank you, Sir. May I have another?!"
Abe: But your answer does not answer the question, that when one is growing [sic] through a very “tough” time, where does such a person, feel the love? Or what’s in it for that person?
Just answering, you are going to come back again and again, doesn’t cut it or answer the question.
Gutman: Knowing that you are supposed to be enjoying yourself is half the solution. If you are not enjoying yourself, you are doing something wrong. Nothing comes without a good reason. It most likely is that the misery has come to you because you caused someone else misery. When you act that way you need that misery to come to you to show you what you have to change. It would be cruel for us to do something wrong and not be told about it.
Are you in pain? Miserable? Depressed? Suicidal? Getting Chemo? Grieving? - You probably brought it on yourself! So “enjoy yourself” but suffer, and learn from that suffering bc it’s a message for you to stop hurting others.
Yeah, solid advice from a nutjob. (I can’t believe how many people are hearing this kind of crazy bullshit - let alone when they may be suffering. Just adds insult to injury.)
… This is the point of our having to come back. If we were justified in being miserable, then our reaction would simply be a proper result of the cause of our misery, and there would be no need to come back. But if we are either reaping the misery that we caused, or only looking for the miserable things in the world, then we have to learn to change our ways.
Since we are obviously reincarnations (of course), then it must be bc we’re supposed to suffer for past misdeeds, or to be happier with whatever lot we have this time around, no matter how shitty it may be.
gawd, what a fucking idiot. and what a fucking nightmare his ‘perfect’ divine system is.
foxtrotsky asked: yes, i imagine you as being a frisky old dude lol.
hahah totally, I think I’ll make for an awesome old dude. I’m already working on my old dude skills: grumpy, prankster, not giving a fuck, love jello, totally happy to sit in a rocking chair for hours, a depraved sense of sexuality knowing that I could die at any moment! And already working to prevent any glaucoma - years ahead of time! =D
I’m gonna get me some hot sweet pie from all the sexy senioritas .. y’know, bc old lady’s make great food.. of course…. yeah…. hahaha
foxtrotsky asked: what kind of old person do you think you'll be?
Half curmudgeon, half happy-old-prankster. I see myself inviting kids to the porch, where I’m sitting in a rocking chair smoking a bowl, and as soon as they get there threatening to kill them with my cane, lol. “Get off my lawn!” hahaha being old is gonna be awesome
also, I’ll probably be shtupping all the old widows in the neighborhood, hahahaha
Anonymous asked: Thoughts on the deaths of Aaron's sons? I'm esp confused by Vayikra 10:3. Why doesn't Moses show a little more sympathy?
Idk. I was looking at and the whole story is pretty weird. I’m really not sure what the motivation was behind the author who invented the story. But it’s fucking weird. Aaron’s kids die suddenly, apparently killed by god, and moses tells aaron not to mourn and something to the effect of “their death will sanctify god” which is fucking weird (kinda like, “their deaths will prove that the holy services are a big fucking deal and not to be trifled with.” -actually, considering this is in leviticus, maybe the P author (Priestly) put it in so that they could garner more respect and power. esp since yeah, ok, that’s officially my new theory.
Anonymous asked: So the job market is really tough these days especially for 17 year olds like myself looking for summer jobs, and I just got an amazing internship at a comp sci start up, its in an extremely specific niche and also what I plan on going into, so its really fucking good
congrats mate =]
Anonymous asked: Ass or tits?
so the yeshiva I used to go to asked me to write a bio for a newsletter they’re putting together… so I pretty much wrote that my life is this new smicha (ordination) program I joined…. though I only subtly hint that it’s through a messianic yeshiva, lol